Loss of innocence...and some teeth

My little girl hurt herself. On Friday she slipped going down the stairs and tumbled head over heels down 13 steps...God must have some serious angels looking over her. The poor little thing lost two of her bottom teeth. I know that this isn't the worst thing that could have happened, but it seems so permanent. And it is. She will have NO bottom teeth longer than she will have actually had them. I am just glad that she didn't break anything! She's a trooper too. The next day she was going up and down the stairs again, with only slight hesitation. The biggest change we have noticed is she is scared that mommy and daddy are going to leave her somewhere scary, at least that's what it seems like. That innocent trust is gone and that breaks my heart into pieces. She shouldn't have to worry about those things yet.

Charlotte isn't talking either. At 18 months she should be- so we asked her doctor and he referred us to Early Intervention who will be doing an assessment in a couple of weeks.I've heard good things about them, so it should be interesting. I did run across this website Teach Me To Talk that really seems to have a lot of info and tools to help your child start talking...at any age. I'm going to start trying some of the techniques once I have brain capacity to look through the site.

In other words, "I'm in a glass case of emotion!" or more aptly, a stress bubble. Alone in my stress bubble. Things will get better, I know this. But, for now, I'm just holding on.

Volitility....The New Frontier

So pregnancy is going well....we find out in 3 weeks what we're having and MOST importantly if all the organs are in place and properly forming! Yay!

Two not so fun symptoms have been cropping up though...leg cramps ( I THOUGHT this didn't happen until the END!!!!) and mood swings. Those of you who know me know that I am not a moody person...then this last week- WHOA look out! Good grief! So the littlest things that would normally just bother me for a little bit are getting TOTALLY out of proportion and I behave...irrationally. It mainly is happening at work. Not so good. Ian is great though...he says that he thinks me being "volitile" is fun. Ha!

On a completely different note, I have been thinking about a particular friend of mine lately...well..ex friend I guess. We had a falling out, mostly due to her...and I have learned her tricks...but strangely enough I miss her....not all the time, but I do. And she apparently misses me too, but won't talk to me or try to fix things...not that we could really BE friends again anyways, but still....so I randomly was going to check my facebook and myspace to see what she was up to (apparently in a weak moment) and she has deleted me. Well, that's fine. But It still sortof hurts. I know that it has been my thought lately that I can't have such a toxic friendship, but still...the fact that she was too chicken to talk to ME about things (she talked to everyone ELSE) just...hurts. I don't even know if things would change at all, but maybe. >sigh<

On a happier note! We finally mulched (I say "we" and really mean "I") our gardens and it looks just splendid now...oh spring! stick around!

Pregnacy- Life as I know it is over!

So I found out that I am pregnant....in my 10th week to be exact and I'm SO HAPPY! THIS is a complete and TOTAL miracle...my doctor isn't even sure how it happened! Obviously she know the mechanics, but seriously! Praise God! My little miracle baby is doing well she tells me and I'm so happy! Right now I'm sick as a dog...with a cold that I can't do anything for....ha! That's ok. I'm not complaining...I would go through just about anything to make sure that this baby is ok! I actually called into work the other day which is unheard of for me...then I dragged myself in yesterday and ended up leaving after 3 hours I was still so disgustingly sick...so here I am at home (on my day OFF thankfully...) and stiiiiilll recuping....I think I'm on the upswing though.
Hey, did I mention I'm SO EXCITED! A baby! My lifelong dream of having my own little bundle of joy coming to fruition! I'm of course addicted to TLC's A Baby Story now....and naturally getting freaked out about labor and delivery...ha...I saw one with a water birth yesterday and let me TELL you it is NOT for me....nooooo waaayyyy.....yuck. Her husband was in the tub too...they didn't show any blood, but I can't imagine that there wasn't ANY...ewww...

There is so much I want to be doing! (But I'm just SO tired all the time right now...they tell me this will be going away soon...I can only keep hoping!) Cleaning everything...painting everything....getting all the crap out of the nursery so we can plan the nursery...knitting little baby things...oh I can't wait until we know what it is! Another 8 weeks or so and we'll be able to find out. I think it's a boy...but a friend of mine says "It's a girl...so that Piper can have a friend." Paraphrased of course. We'll see. I don't care either way as long as it is healthy and happy.

I am going to knit a girl blanket...well...technically isn't yellow a "neutral" color? But I have a blue blanket already and I have about a million yards of this lovely lemonade color yarn that is begging to be made into a blanket...so boy or girl...they're getting yellow! = )

it's been a while...

So after much searching, I have finally found the hat that Kirsten Dunst (love her or hate her) wears in Elizabethtown...let me just tell you that I was so taken by this hat she wears in the previews that I watched the movie. The movie was so-so, but that hat looks just as wonderful! Can't wait to pick yarn and make it!

My friends daughter fell asleep in my arms last night and let me tell you it was so sweet....I need to have a baby. I just do. I realize it's not all dressing them up and snuggling them- but it is wanting to scream and cry and give them back, but it's all worth it, isn't it? Someday. In the meantime I am making things for other peoples children and it seems to be good medicine...sometimes.

Ian's medication decided to stop working....it could have been because he was getting sick when he was getting the infusion, but in any case, he has to try something else. Is the insurance company being helpful? Naturally. Yes I'm rolling my eyes right now. But that's all ok, univerals health care here we come! Because THAT's better. Please. Give me some yarn and I'll keep my hands busy so I don't strangle anyone!

Of life and...

Let me say that it was quite a shock to learn that I don't knit the correct way! Apparently ( and this comes from teaching myself) I have been knitting tbl this whole time! My dear friend noticed this (as I don't have any knitting buddies that ever see me knit) and I laughed and felt a bit sheepish...I am currently retraining myself to knit correctly...no twisted stitches for me! On the upside, I won't have trouble knitting tbl on patterns! And let me just say the difference in material is amazing!

I also made my first Icord last night...I was SO excited when it worked! I really am lacking motivation for Christmas gifts...I had this whole plan of what to make for whom (who?) and I just lost interest! My mom's gift has fallen off the wagon....especially knowing that I could have a much smoother FO if knitted CORRECTLY...and the dishcloths that everyone would receive...well..let's not talk about those. Simple projects bore me apparently!

On another note...I thought I was doing ok with the no baby thing...but I found out in the last week that not one, not two but THREE of my friends are expecting...granted, two of them are more aquaintances than the other one, but it just is so frustrating. I am trying so hard to give this desire to God but it's very hard. I might just be overly tired, but I have tears trying to get out and I don't want them too! BACK foul melancholic beast!!

The List

In light of recent cat puking outbursts, I believe I have made the decision to RIP...not any projects, but the carpet. My beautifully black and soft haired feline has just puked all over my project bag. (Not to worry- no WIPs were harmed...just a completed project...)She has gotten it too good this time...bah. I can't really be mad at her, but I'd rather clean up hardwood floor than have scummy carpet. One more project for the list...I'm starting to sound like Bill! "It's on the list."
In case this was unclear...she spread it out over the living room....nice and considerate Cleo. That's what we call her.

Relax...Just Do It....

Here's something that I think is very interesting- or if not interesting, at least....thought provoking. When did someone decide that pulling someone on a donut shaped tube really fast behind a boat was entertaining? Just seems like an odd form of entertainment to me. = ) I'll try it tomorrow.
I am more relaxed today than I have been in probably 2 months and it is all thanks to Maine- The Way Life Should Be. Yes. It is.
But on to the knitting parts, seeing as this IS a knitting blog of sorts- I started making my first garment. A little shrug that has a lace pattern on most of it. I enjoy knitting lace, but I find the pattern a bit lacking. I don't think the person who posted it could really remember exactly what she did, so I find myself in the beginning stages of Clover Lace Confusion. We'll see how it turns out. I am fully confident in my ability to do the lace, but she was very unclear about the increases....do I increase on my own? Or does the written pattern include the increases? It's just a dirty rotten shame I like the finished product so much....we'll see how it goes. I did learn a new decrease though that I like very much. SSK. BUT, isn't it pretty much just the same as K2Tog? yeah. Well....ONWARD!